samedi 28 mai 2011

Your Map For The Pursuit Of Happiness - Genuine Happiness Comes From Within



If your pursuit of happiness does not lead you to genuine happiness then perhaps you are missing one of the most important keys to personal happiness -- loving yourself.

Life isn't the sweetest candy. Sometimes, when I feel like the world is just too heavy, I look around and find people who continued to live fascinating and wonderful lives. And then thoughts come popping into my mind like bubbles from nowhere - "How did their life become so adorably sweet? How come they still can manage to laugh and play around despite a busy stressful life?" Then I pause and observed for awhile... I figured out that maybe, they start to work on a place called 'self'.

So, how does one become genuinely happy? Step 1 is to love yourself.

My theology professor once said that "loving means accepting." To love oneself means to accept that you are not a perfect being, but behind the imperfections must lie a great ounce of courage to be able to discover ways on how to improve your repertoire to recover from our mistakes.

Genuine happiness also pertains to contentment. When you are contented with the job you have, the way you look, with your family, your friends, the place you live in, your car, and all the things you now have - truly, you know the answer to the question "how to be genuinely happy."

When we discover a small start somewhere from within, that small start will eventually lead to something else, and to something else. But if you keep questioning life lit it has never done you any good, you will never be able to find genuine happiness.

I believe that life is about finding out about right and wrong, trying and failing, wining and losing. These are things that happen as often as you inhale and exhale. Failure, in a person's life has become as abundant and necessary as air. But this should not hinder us from becoming happy.

How to be genuinely happy in spite all these? I tell you... every time you exert effort to improve the quality of life and your being, whether it is cleaning up your room, helping a friend, taking care of your sick dog, fail on board exams and trying again, life gives you equivalent points for that.

Imagine life as a big score board like those which are used in the NFLs. Every time you take a step forward, you make scoring points. Wouldn't it be nice to look at that board at the end of each game and think to yourself "Whew! I got a point today. I'm glad I gave it a shot.", instead of looking at it all blank and murmur "Geez, I didn't even hit a score today. I wish I had the guts to try out. We could have won!" and then walk away.

Genuine happiness isn't about driving the hottest Formula 1 car, nor getting the employee of the year award, earning the highest 13th month pay, or beating the sales quota. Sometimes, the most sought after prizes in life doesn't always go to the fastest, the strongest, the bravest or not even the best. So, how do you become genuinely happy? Every one has his own definition of 'happiness'. Happiness for a writer may mean launching as much best selling books as possible. Happiness for a basketball rookie may mean getting the rookie of the year award. Happiness for a beggar may mean a lot of money. Happiness for a business man may mean success. So, really now, how do we become genuinely happy? Simple. You don't have to have the best things in this world. Its about doing and making the best out of every single thing. When you find yourself smiling at your own mistake and telling your self "Oh, I'll do better next time", you carry with you a flame of strong will power to persevere that may spread out like a brush fire. You possess a willingness to stand up again and try - that will make you a genuinely happy person.

When you learn to accept yourself and your own faults. You pass step 1 in the project "how to become genuinely happy".For as long as you know how to accept others, you will also be accepted. For as long as you love and know how to love, you will receive love ten folds back.

Again, throw me that same question "how to become genuinely happy?". I'll refer you to a friend of mine who strongly quoted- "Most of us know that laughter is the best medicine to life's aches and pain. But most of us don't know that the best kind of laughter is laughter over self. Coz then you don't just become happy... you become free."
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mercredi 25 mai 2011

Be as Happy as You Want to Be


Almost everyone have heard the hit single 'Don't Worry, Be Happy' by Bobby McFerrin. The song has a very catchy way of conveying its message of being happy to everyone. Bobby McFerrin's simple message surely made a lot of people by telling them not to worry.

Living a happy, resilient and optimistic life is wonderful, and is also good for your health. Being happy actually protects you from the stresses of life. Stress is linked to top causes of death such as heart disease, cancer and stroke.

One of the better things ever said is - 'The only thing in life that will always remain the same is change', and in our life we have the power to make the necessary changes if we want to. Even if we find ourselves in an unbearable situation we can always find solace in the knowledge that it too would change.

Social networks or relationships are essential to happiness. People are different, accept people for who or what they are, avoid clashes, constant arguments, and let go of all kinds of resentments. If arguments seem unavoidable still try and make an effort to understand the situation and you might just get along with well with

Happiness is actually found in everyone, increasing it is a way to make a life more wonderful and also more healthy.

To be happy is relatively easy, just decide to be a happy person. Abraham Lincoln observed that most people for most of the time can choose how happy or stressed, how relaxed or troubled, how bright or dull their outlook to be. The choice is simple really, choose to be happy.

There are several ways by which you can do this.

Being grateful is a great attitude. We have so much to be thankful for. Thank the taxi driver for bringing you home safely, thank the cook for a wonderful dinner and thank the guy who cleans your windows. Also thank the mailman for bringing you your mails, thank the policeman for making your place safe and thank God for being alive.

News is stressful. Get less of it. Some people just can't start their day without their daily dose of news. Try and think about it, 99% of the news we hear or read is bad news. Starting the day with bad news does not seem to be a sensible thing to do.

A religious connection is also recommended. Being part of a religious group with its singing, sacraments, chanting, prayers and meditations foster inner peace.

Manage your time. Time is invaluable and too important to waste. Time management can be viewed as a list of rules that involves scheduling, setting goals, planning, creating lists of things to do and prioritizing. These are the core basics of time management that should be understood to develop an efficient personal time management skill. These basic skills can be fine tuned further to include the finer points of each skill that can give you that extra reserve to make the results you desire.

Laugh and laugh heartily everyday. Heard a good joke? Tell your friends or family about it. As they also say -'Laughter is the best medicine'.

Express your feelings, affections, friendship and passion to people around you. They will most likely reciprocate your actions. Try not to keep pent up anger of frustrations, this is bad for your health. Instead find ways of expressing them in a way that will not cause more injury or hurt to anyone.

Working hard brings tremendous personal satisfaction. It gives a feeling of being competent in finishing our tasks. Accomplishments are necessary for all of us, they give us a sense of value. Work on things that you feel worthy of your time.

Learning is a joyful exercise. Try and learn something new everyday. Learning also makes us expand and broaden our horizons. And could also give us more opportunities in the future.

Run, jog, walk and do other things that your body was made for. Feel alive.

Avoid exposure to negative elements like loud noises, toxins and hazardous places.

These are the few simple things you can do everyday to be happy.

And always remember the quote from Abraham Lincoln, he says that, "Most people are about as happy as they make up their minds to be."

vendredi 20 mai 2011

24 Secrets To Happiness






















Are you happy? Would you like to be even happier? You can if you understand what brings true, long-lasting happiness. We all have the ability to create a happy life and we all deserve it. When you focus on the 24 keys to happiness, your life can improve dramatically. It takes two happy people to have a happy relationship.

I learned a lot about happiness from my clients. As a Marriage, Family Therapist for 27 years, I first discovered what happiness is not. Many of my clients of all ages had many things happening in their lives that anyone would think would make them happy. To my surprise, men and women who had beautiful homes, cars, successful careers or businesses, good health, wonderful children, and free time to travel and participate in sports, were still very unhappy.

When I guided them through a process called HART, which stands for Holistic And Rapid Transformation, they changed their negative thoughts to positive ones. Then the clients were able to realize the messages below, and believe that happiness was in their grasp. As they focused on what they could do to feel true happiness, their lives improved dramatically.

The following 24 guidelines can assist you to enjoy this wonderful feeling.

Happiness Is….

1. Experiencing my life as an exciting journey.

2. Courageously doing what I want to do even if I'm scared.

3. Realizing that I have everything inside of me to make me happy.

4. Knowing that I'm the only one who can decide what is right or wrong for me.

5. Thinking positive thoughts which are attracting to me what I want and need.

6. Forgiving myself and others for what I perceive to be not okay.

7. Accepting that I'm okay even when I blunder and learning from my mistakes.

8. Realizing that I'm only responsible for my thoughts, feelings, and behavior.

9. Understanding that what people say or do is a reflection of them and not of me.

10. Listening to my inner wisdom, my intuition.

11. Stimulating my mind and caring for my body.

12. Balancing my life between work and play.

13. Understanding that every precious moment is all that matters.

14. Being caring and loving and pursuing my interests and talents.

15. Learning from my past, setting goals for the future, and focusing on the present.

16. Allowing myself to feel all of my emotions and to express them in healthy ways.

17. Taking the time to smell the flowers.

18. Sharing my truth in a loving way.

19. Overcoming my fears and resolving all my problems with win-win solutions.

20. Accepting changes, and flowing with them.

21. Understanding that my true success of each day is how much I have expressed caring to myself and others.

22. Being grateful for all that I have and for all that I am.

23. Accepting that I am okay and I deserve to be healthy, happy, and successful.

24. Giving and receiving unconditionally.

lundi 9 mai 2011

Who Else Wants To Make Happiness A Habit?

Happiness doesn't just happen. You have to make it happen. If you're waiting around for it to come to you, expecting someone to bring it with them or waiting for something to happen before you can be happy you'll be waiting for a long while.

Nobody will ever bring you complete happiness, think about what will happen if they leave you or are taken from this earth, where will your happiness be then. If you're waiting for something to happen such as that promotion you've always wanted or when you're working less hours then happiness will never come.

If your happiness is dependent on a goal and you achieve it, you'll either set a new goal (at which point your future happiness will be transfered to this new goal) or you'll feel there's nothing more to be achieved which after the initial elation has worn off usually results in an empty feeling inside instead of the happiness you expected.

One of the best ways to increase your level of happiness in life is to change your habits to those similar to a happy person.

95% of what humans do is habitual. From the side of bed you get out of, the route you take to work every day, the way you clean your teeth and the myriad of other things you do in day to day life, they're all habitual. We are quite literally creatures of habit.

With this in mind it's fair to say that our habitual routines dictate our consistent emotional states. If on a regular basis you perceive yourself to be doing things that make you unhappy then you'll be unhappy.

If on the other hand you perceive yourself to be doing things on a regular basis that make you happy then you'll be a much happier person. In order to do this you must break the old habitual pattern and replace them with more positive ones.

Achieving this will take a bit of work at first as you must consciously decide what your going to do and put it into action. I want to emphasize the word 'consciously' as this is contradictory to a habit.

As a rough guide it takes about 30 days of consciously performing the desired action to turn it into a habit. With a little effort for 30 days you'll be surprised at how much of a difference this will make to you life.

Decide to be happy, appreciate all of the good things in your life, no day is ever 100% good or bad so if you spend your days thinking about the good in your life you're bound to feel happier

For the next 30 days every time you find yourself grumbling about circumstances out of your control or putting yourself down stop and think about what you've just said to yourself, replace it with something more positive and carry on with what ever you were doing. Make it a habit to feel good.

Don't wait for happiness to come to you. Be happy NOW!...

jeudi 5 mai 2011

Five Golden Rules Of Happy People




It comes and it goes, it depends on your mood and your surroundings. Surely its so nice to be happy. Everbody dreams to have natural happiness. Here are the 5 golden rules of happy people:


1. THINK POSITIVE. In every aspect of our life, we deal with different things. Surely one has to think what's going on between his life and what comes ahead. Thinking negatively can make our plans barred; it can make us unhappy because our minds think that way. Whereas, when we think positive we feel light and open to new horizons and it is easier for us to deal with life. No matter how bad things come along in you just accept it and think that everything has a purpose.


2. LIVING LIFE TO THE FULLEST. We only live once; therefore we should make each day a memorable one. Don't let each day surpass with being unhappy. Happy people make the best everyday as the final moment of his life. Explore and create a world of happiness around you. Don't let your life be restricted with something that is not worth your happiness. No matter what kind of a person are you live each day happily. Do what you really like and do everything that you feel it will make you feel contented and happy.



3. FEEL BEAUTIFUL INSIDE AND OUT. Self-confidence and self-esteem is also a key to being happy. When you feel beautiful, you feel happy and it is easier for you to deal with anybody. You feel you are part of this big world and that you don't care what other people think about you. Show more the best part on you. It is said and proven that nobody is perfect. Don't get intimated if you feel you are not good in a certain way. Each one of us has its own flaws, feel good and flaunt it.



4. LEARN TO APPRECIATE. Learn to appreciate even just the smallest of things. Appreciate each moment of and enjoy life. Be aware of your surroundings, the environment and people around you. Happy people are appreciative, you feel happy because the flower blooms, the sky is blue and the birds are singing. When you appreciate someone you also make them happy in return. Being appreciative means having a good heart. Get out, connect, appreciate and be happy.



5. HAVE A GOOD SENSE OF HUMOR. Wise and happy people has a good sense of humor. Making other people laugh is a good achievement to self. To obtain happiness let other people be happy as well. Its normal to laugh at your own mistake and cry for too much happiness. Laughter lightens up our hearts and mind. When you have a good sense of humor, you will gain more friends and a lot will like you for being that way. It is easier for you to get connected with people and talking with them because mostly person's with great sense of humor are friendly, approachable, fun and easy to be with.
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dimanche 1 mai 2011

The Secret Ingredient is YOU!


Discovered: The Secret Ingredient to Happiness is Ourselves! As many of you know I am a positive psychologist and happiness coach-I encourage finding out what's good about ourselves (rather than what's bad), and seeing ourselves in a positive light. I teach how to understand your own needs and your talents, and how to do the work necessary to create a life full of happiness. Here, I'd like to introduce you to a happiness creation process I developed from many years of observation, case studies, and happiness research.

In my happiness research I found that women are happy at least part of the time, but often dismiss their good feelings as just a blip on the 'radar screen of life'. They also frequently lose their "good mood" as soon as someone criticizes or puts them down. I began to realize that becoming, and staying happy requires a habit that can practiced and improved upon, and I developed a model called "The Enchanted Self" that shows how we can improve our happiness using something I call "Recipes for Enchantment." def. The Enchanted Self - the capacity to initiate positive states of being unique to our disposition and talents. def. Recipes for Enchantment - the ways we've found to create happiness for ourselves that are unique to us. The Enchanted Self is something you control, and you do it using "Recipes for Enchantment" that are unique to you.
Although there are many "Recipes for Enchantment" that most of us have in common, it's important to remember that you are unique, and what makes you happy isn't necessarily going to be the same as for the other people in your life. YOU are the "secret ingredient" in the recipe for creating your own happiness. As such, you must discover the unique things that enhance your happiness.
Here's a "recipe" for discovering some of the unique things that make you happy...

Exercise: Recipe for Personal Pleasure Give yourself a quiet space, a pad of paper and a pen, and permission to daydream. The world is your oyster. Plan out a day that is designed to make you happy. - What would that day be like and what would you do? - Where would you go? - Who would be with you, if anyone? - What would you see? - How would you feel? - What would you eat that day? - What are some of the aromas that would please you that day? - What would be the highlight of the day? - How would you feel at the end of the day? - Now you're looking back on that day. - What would you be most pleased about? - What are some of the ingredients you would need to make this day come true? - What are three steps YOU need to take to get closer to experiencing a pleasing time right now? [Remember YOU are the main ingredient.]

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